just several days ago i read this good article about family in the newspaper..
well, it’s in indonesian language, but i will translate everything for you. 🙂
Sunday, 31st July 2011
Section of the newspaper: Tren
Article title: Anak
the advertisement manager where my client works has a very harmonious relationship with her brother and sisters. She is a woman who is the eldest sister of 3 younger ones. Two of which are sisters and the youngest is a teenage boy, who could still hug one of his three sisters while sleeping.
Such harmony did not stop when the third child got married even with their brother in law. In some cases where one of them needs help, these brother and sisters are ready to provide help. according to the eldest’s story, her second sister is the bravest in the family, “she’s the guards-woman of our family, sir.”
that story i did hear when we were having dinner together without the presence of the youngest and we talked until it almost reached midnight. a million of never-ending stories.
we parted ways in the hotel lobby. those sisters went home in one taxi and planned to stay over in their mother’s house. “so happy to have come home to mom’s home. my third sister and her husband lives together, so we can still meet up. it’s very exciting, sir.” explained the eldest. she still added. “the guards-woman is planning to get married in September and carried to a foreign country. i am already imagining myself losing her.”
the taxi took me home, piercing through the night of Jakarta. if we’re already seated with a full stomach, usually the eye lids would always want to close down. however, for a moment, that did not happen, this head was filled with stories of the harmony of those brother and sisters, that made me smile by myself because i myself have brothers and sisters, who live far from each other, and we never miss each other even though our relationship is fine.
and then i made a conclusion about a journey of a family life. yes, i made that conclusion, i who has never had any family. such is the smart-ass idea.
“put yourself in the same shoes”
a father and a mother can be the head of the family and decide the game rules in the journey of the family life. but, having a harmonious journey in the family life not only is burdened upon the parents, but also how the children help in organizing that journey.
children have the responsibility not only to shout, but also to be able to control themselves to reconcile with a sense of forgiveness and undiminished love. i am reminded that humans are said to be social creatures. for me that means humans not only are able to interact with one another, but must have a sense of tolerance.
fights often happen because too much socialization and too lacking in tolerance. not long ago, i saw a movie titled “The Beaver”. i was sad to see a child talking so rudely to his father. the absence of the sense of tolerance often makes the child forget, that his parents are only ordinary human beings like himself, who can’t always be right and can’t always be good. the absence of such tolerance makes the sentence “put yourself in the same shoes” very hard to be translated even by a master translator.
“if only, i didn’t have parents like mine.” or “i’d rather live with a friend rather than with my own brother. it’s far better.” i believe that you have once heard or ,maybe like me, have once unintentionally said things like that. i do not know about your relationship situation with your parents, but for me being social creatures also means being good at interacting with other people, and especially with internal people. interacting with external people will be easier because they are not our own family.
i have never had a father who hits, or rapes, or is a corrupter. i also have never had a mother who is a prostitute, or a mistress, or who spends more time outside the house rather than with her children, or who has so dark a past. i also have never had an environment where my mom and dad shout and fight with each other in front of their children so that i as a child set that as an example and regard that as the right behavior, until i become an ill-tempered person, reactive, and a person who shouts anywhere and everywhere.
i apologize if i can not dive deep enough into it. maybe this article is too easy for me to write stuffs regarding harmony between brothers and sisters of the same blood only after listening to the stories of those three women mentioned above. this piece of writing is only a sharing of how wonderful it is to have so high a tolerance that the journey in the family life becomes a happier thing to be undergone. doing a responsibility with great joy. yes, as parents, and as children.
and when you as a child leave this world, i only hope you “return home” with a heart that is forgiving even in the very last second.
*all credits go to the original write of this article: Samuel Mulia